Funny Stuff

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turin
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by turin » Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:05 pm

I'd just like to note that Jetryl's post count is 1337. I'd take a screenshot but I'm lazy.
I am Turin Turambar, Master of Doom, by Doom Mastered.
Also a general meddler at the Wesnoth forums.
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MindFlayer
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by MindFlayer » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:36 am

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Rain
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Rain » Tue May 06, 2008 1:19 pm

Ahaha. That would suck having to go through that everyday.
'When Zeon lost his powers, he fell to Earth, and created a giant crator where he hit. His moan destroyed the mountains and the crater was buried by the debris.'

(of Zeon)

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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Wed May 07, 2008 11:40 pm

HahahahHHAHahahAHHAahahaAHa:

http://mindprod.com/jgloss/unmain.html

Are we having fun yet?
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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Wed Jun 25, 2008 3:34 pm

MindFlayer posted this, and it was too good to let slip under the radar:
Chuck Norris Java Facts:
- Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.
- Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.

- Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

- Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.

- Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.

- A synchronize doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.

- Chuck Norris’ java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.

- When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris’ deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.

- The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.

- Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER!

- Chuck Norris doesn’t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants.

- Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

- Chuck Norris’ binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier.

- Chuck Norris methods doesn’t catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.

- Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it.

- If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.

- Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.

- Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it.

- Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the “flying tornado kick” at the moment it throws

- Chuck Norris’s code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects’ privates

- Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and “protected by Chuck Norris”, don’t try to access a field with this
last modifier!!

- Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces!

- Chuck Norris can divide by 0!

- Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.

- Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively

- Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application.

- When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed.

- Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU.

- Chuck Norris implements “Indestructible”. All the other creatures implements “Killable”.

- Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end.

- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.

- Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.

- JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.

- Chuck Norris extends God.

- Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it’s so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage.

- Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.

- Chuck Norris’ classes can’t be decompiled… don’t bother trying.
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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Wed Jul 02, 2008 12:31 am

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Winter Knight
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Winter Knight » Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:54 am

That was really good.
"I want you to f--- me right now."
"I'm going to ---- your butt."
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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Sun Jul 06, 2008 12:47 am

Unsolicited "The Dark Knight" script:

http://my.spill.com/profiles/blog/show? ... t%3A355506

GENERAL: "Okay, I like it. But which one of the internets do we hack?"
BRUCE: "All of them."
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Winter Knight
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Winter Knight » Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:28 am

Today, I was looking for a standard c/c++ function that would remove a specific char from a character array (c string). So I searched google for "c string" without the quotes.
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Rain
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Rain » Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:58 am

We've all had crappy roommates before. (well, some of us have at least) This guy takes the cake for best idea at getting back at a stupid roommate.

I found this hysterical. Does this make me a bad person? :heh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WN-2urEPZ_4
'When Zeon lost his powers, he fell to Earth, and created a giant crator where he hit. His moan destroyed the mountains and the crater was buried by the debris.'

(of Zeon)

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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:46 pm

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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:43 pm

This is someone thinking "I'll just remove this indefinite article because Coren is an illiterate cunt and i know best".
...and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you're winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can't you hear? Can't you hear that it is wrong? It's not fucking rocket science. It's fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable
I only wrote that sodding paragraph to make that joke. And you've fucking stripped it out like a pissed Irish plasterer restoring a renaissance fresco and thinking jesus looks shit with a bear so plastering over it.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/jul/23/mediamonkey

:think: Yey.
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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Sun Aug 03, 2008 11:14 pm

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Roots
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Roots » Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:03 pm

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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Mon Aug 25, 2008 6:42 pm

"Firefox extension that filters YouTube comments based on grammar, spelling, punctuation, and capitalization." (via Daring Fireball)
http://www.chrisfinke.com/addons/youtube-comment-snob/

:approve: The visual of two enormous boxers hunched over a chess board is just priceless.
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MindFlayer
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by MindFlayer » Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:47 am

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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Tue Sep 23, 2008 2:11 am

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Jetryl
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Jetryl » Wed Oct 01, 2008 6:23 pm

:uhoh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tJjNVVw ... re=related

Bill O'Reilly, hard at work.
This isn't really ... that funny, after a while. :|
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gorzuate
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Re: Funny Stuff

Post by gorzuate » Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:38 pm

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VerMan

Playing with pointers?

Post by VerMan » Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:42 pm

Well, this actually happened to me. It's not so funny when you open your thesis file and it shows that!
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